Burgundy Bananas

It is currently bucketing it down outside our man-cave/garden shed as I write this post. When the weather is like this there is no better place to be: Sundays are made of this. Last summer we had Sky Sports installed in the man-cave. As a result I find myself watching some extremely dull sport just because it is there (European Tour Golf is inexorably there on Sky Sports 4 if all else fails). Over on Sky Sports 2 it looks likely that England will fall to another one-day defeat at the hands of the West Indies to make it 2-0 in the series. Subsequently, I have opted for the distinctly average tie of Aston Villa v Norwich on Sky Sports 3 to accompany my blog-writing on this occasion and, for some unknown reason, I’m keeping half an eye on it (it turns out to be a very exciting game, or first half, as it ends 4-1 with all 5 goals in the opening 45 minutes).

Manchester City won the League Cup earlier today, beating Sunderland 3-1. It seems using the outside of the boot is all the rage at the moment. Recently we have seen both Steven Gerrard and Raheem Sterling providing stellar banana-assists for the on-fire Daniel Sturridge. Today the banana shot was brought back in to fashion at Wembley. Firstly Borini banana-d a shot to put Sunderland 1-0 up in the tenth minute but City blew Sunderland away in the 55th and 56th minutes with stunners from Yaya Toure and Samir Nasri, the latter banana-ing it into onion bag after a scintillating, counter-attack. Sunderland were again caught on the break in the final minute as Jesús Navas sealed the deal and Manchester were crowned League Cup champions.

Roberto Carlos: king of the banana

This time yesterday I was watching Billericay Town FC away at Kingstonian FC. Two weekends in a row I have witnessed non-league football and once again I left the ground impressed by what I had witnessed. Two weekends in a row I have also witnessed non-league football on a hangover. I employed the dubious ‘hair of the dog’ tactic with a pre-match pint in the bar before we went to collect our lovely fairground-like tickets. Billericay dominated the game and went on to win the game 2-0. They employed a nigh-on identical strategy to Weston-super-Mare’s that I had seen a week earlier, focussed around one MONSTER up front. Last week Weston had Chaz Hemmings. This week, Billericay’s centre-forward Ricky Sappleton took the biscuit (in more ways than one, I suspect!). This man makes Adebayo Akinfenwa look emaciated by comparison.

16/02/13 Bishop,s Stortford v Hinckley

Ricky Sappleton: too many biscuits

The previous night I had attended a friend’s party in Isleworth, London. I had travelled across from Bristol that same day and come up with a costume idea in the morning before work. It was an idea which had made a brief appearance at a previous party. I would wear all of the burgundy clothes I could find and a moustache and be Ron Burgundy. Poor effort, I know.

Before making my way over to the capital however I had an appointment with a knee-specialist to discuss my MRI scan results. Before explaining to the doctor why I was wearing entirely maroon, he confirmed that I have a ruptured anterior cruciate ligament and need an operation in about a month’s time. As a result of the rupture I haven’t played sport for over a year. The doctor informed me that I’d be back in action roughly nine months after the operation. Yes, sadly I will miss the 2014 World Cup in Brazil… but I cannot wait to play football again in 2015! My touch is going to be truly awful after over two years out.

I never know how to finish these things. It’s the Oscars tonight so I suppose I’ll put forward my meaningless support for my favourite three films of the year: The Wolf of Wall Street, 12 Years a Slave and Inside Llewyn Davis. Good films them, hope they win stuff.


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